Who I'm "SUPPOSE" to be
Today I had a revelation after a meeting for work at Liftonic, practicing a mock class with my boss. He noticed how I had improved a lot since my surgery and how my music has gotten better. Previously I had played pre maid mixes using Fit Radio or making playlist that I thought people would like. The main difference now is I'm creating things I like. This is a HUGE RELEVATION FOR ME. I feel like a lot of women like me may be been molded by our society to people pleasers and not put their opinions or ideas first.
Most of my life I've been trying to sculpt myself into the person I thought I'm "SUPPOSE" to be of an ideal 2nd generation Asian American, this vision that was slowly subliminally brain washing me, get a stable job, find a rich husband, stay quiet, clean the house, do the dishes and laundry, don't fart, don't burp, don't speak, don't eat too much, don't curse, stay still, stop dancing on tables, make babies, 401k live a suburban life and die.
After my surgery, I just stopped giving a fuck about what I thought people would like and just created what I liked. I feel I've been suffocating myself with self imposed expectations, like make more money, create a business, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER do everything QUICK QUICK QUICK. But now I can relax and finally breath a bit easier. I can stop forcing things that don't work and just do whatever the hell I want. Not to say to live recklessly but wreak a little havoc in the world. Shake up the ideal convention of what women should say, look like, feel or act. But this can be done a fun way and the journey will be long so CHEEEEL HOME GIRL LIZ (:
I've been given another chance at life, just last month I thought I might die, or was prepared to. So now I know I was given an opportunity to see other gifts that were inside of me that covered in dust. I want to shake up the world with strength & sparkle, inspire young girls to pursue their dreams and SHOW them its never too late. I'm gonna make my 9 year dreams come true. I'm going to keep trying until my last breath.
LETS SHAKE UP THE WORLD TOGETHER WHOS WITH ME?! DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY READ THIS? ⚡️🔥 💥
New Mantras for this new sparkly chapter
No more suppose to or expectations
Only what do you want & funnest way to get it
No more aiming for perfecting and constant planning
Only results & progress
No more 2nd guessing
Only deciding 80 % heart 20% brain